1 post tagged “mistakes”
Over time, I've made many mistakes in talking (and arguing) with my friends. In a moment of naive hubris, I've convinced myself that I know and understand most of these mistakes. So I'll write them down for posterity, hoping to leave a lucid roadmap for my future self. Behold, self, the pitfalls of doom:
What not to do:
- don't catch on trifles (and it's all trifles compared to your friendship)
- don't imagine that the stakes are huge; they're not
- don't keep making the same point again and again; trust their ability to get it the first time
- don't assume it's your task to convince them -- all you can really do is offer your opinion; they'll believe you if they want to
- don't think you're responsible for preventing their mistakes
- don't assume that to disagree is to bring your friendship into question
- don't hold a grudge; life is too short to waste time on grudges while disregarding the good parts
- pay attention to what it's really about (mostly validation and support, in my experience)
- keep your integrity
- remember that sooner or later, you'll need their good will
- mention (politely!) whatever is bothering you; keeping it to yourself only brings greater grief
